KARMA

You can say “karma is a bitch” and I will agree with you I couldn’t think of this statement until it happened.

Bad things happen to bad people, bad things happen to good people too. But there is a time you will know “this is payback time”.

Should we say is karma for real? Or we should just accept that life happens and it happens to everyone.

I got up in the morning and refused to eat the breakfast that my wife fixed for me. I just sat at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of me and stare as the steam moved up and disappeared in to the large space above us.

It was not strange to her, until I brushed our little dog off; it was the only thing we both cared about at this point. She could no longer hold it.

“What is wrong? Anything you want to talk about?” She asked over her shoulder with a twitting lip as she poured herself a cup of coffee.

I didn’t know how to bring forth my reply so instead I joined my ten fingers in a fist on top of the table and bowed down my head. This gesture made her even more interested. She drew the chair across me and sat down.

“Is it about work?”

“No, it’s nothing about it”. I finally replied.

“So do you want to talk about it?”

I think it’s time to spit it out. I just have to say it.

“Linda, I want a divorce”. I said.

She didn’t say a word; she just stood up and left me there. I wasn’t having any words to add either so, I left for work.

By the time I was back from work, I found a note from her

“I have tried to be the best I can be

Seems it’s not enough.

Then you deserve better.

Life is too short, make the most out of it.

I wish you the very best

Love Linda”

I slumped into the chair. I know, I shouldn’t be the one crying but, the guilt was overwhelming. She left everything we had together without a struggle; she made it too easy for me. She deserved better but my emotions won’t just mount up to give her that.

When I told my family, no one supported me and they told me karma will come after me.

After everything, I still left regardless; I left with my English girl two months after the divorce and proceedings concerning property were settled.

Marvel is quite younger than my Ex wife Linda

We fell in love while I decided to keep an affair outside our marriage when everything became numb. It had been numb from the beginning and it only got worse so much we lived like flat mates. We could go to therapy but Linda refused that everything was ok. We just wanted different things. Maybe I should have tried harder but I didn’t have enough courage. So, I gave up.

One year after I married Marvel, she had an accident. I was supposed to pick her up at the mall from work where she was supposed to pick a gift for a family we were meant to have dinner at. Then I was late, too late she decided to call a taxi and that is when it happened.

My wife was in a comma for four months and the doctors hope had wavered, I was the only one left hoping. Everyone left me to my own faith; I was just an asshole being paid back in time.

Life has been miserable for me; dwelling in guilt, thinking if only I had made it earlier this wouldn’t have happened. The only thing encouraging me is the life support machine connected to my wife’s lifeless body that keeps beeping to indicate that there is life.

Some days I was full of hope others I was just expecting the worse. I believed I deserved the worse.

Until two months ago, I received a call from the hospital to report immediately. My knees became wobbly as I dropped the telephone phone and made to the cabin for my car keys but, then immediately I took precaution and called a taxi instead.

When I arrived the hospital, I couldn’t even stop by the receptionist, I made straight for my wife’s unit  and opened the door to her ward, clinching my fist so hard you could see the tendons standing out on my skin. I was expecting it; the worse but, I wasn’t ready for it.

I opened the door and there she was, standing at the window and looking at the beautiful scene of the setting sun. I couldn’t hold it in; I sank down on my knees just after I took one step and realized my knees were locked. As I sobbed, she walked to me and sat on the bed in front of me taking my hands into hers. After a total of eleven months, we are here like nothing happened.

It’s been five months since we came back from the hospital. I know that five months is too small to judge the success of a marriage but in our situation, it is more than enough. Our one year was great. And now we have every reason to stay stronger. It’s everything we wanted in our lives, not faking anything.

It’s true karma may come after you but surely, it gives way. Be it good or bad. It may be a bitch but you can make it your friend. It may not leave you perfect the way it left me, but you do not have to beat yourself up for things you cannot control. I couldn’t stop my heart from loving Marvel.

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